On the Topic Of...My High School Experience

Though I’ve been blogging for close to 5 years now, I don’t often find myself getting particularly personal on the blog. Sure, if you’ve been following my reviews for a while or if you follow me on Twitter you probably know some things about me outside of what I like to read and what I like to watch in terms of TV shows and movies. But I haven’t necessarily shared that much beyond that. Not because I have anything to hide or I want to protect my identity. Considering my name is quite easy to find on the Internet because of the blog or my job, that ship sailed a long time ago. 

But I thought I would do something a little different today, share a little more about me that might give you more insight into why I read the books I do or why I react to things the way I do. This is not going to get overly dramatic or dark. At all. So here’s the thing, at some point over the course of the last almost five years, you might have seen me mention going home and that typically involves planes. That’s because compared to most people, I didn’t exactly have a typical middle/high school experience. I say that in the sense that from the age of 11 onwards, I went to an international school because my parents’ jobs led to us moving overseas. 

So what does that actually mean? Well for starters, I went to the same school from grade 6 until I graduated high school. But even though I went to the same school for 7 years, I didn’t even come close to graduating with people who I had known since grade 6. Because that’s the nature of an international school, people come and go, often never staying for longer than 3 or 4 years. So I got really good at saying goodbye to friends and making new ones. So the idea of having grown up with someone, of meeting someone in kindergarten and still being friends with them when high school graduation? Completely lost on me. I would be hard pressed to tell you the name of even one person I went to kindergarten with. But it’s not just the constant rotation of people that made my high school so different from what is considered to be “typical” or like the ones I see in book. My high school was basically this little bubble. Everyone knew each other because there were barely over 100 people in my graduating class, barely over 400 people in grades 10 through 12. And sure there were different “groups,” I had my group of friends I hung out with most of the time, but everyone was pretty much friends with everyone. It might sound like an exaggeration, but it’s really not. 

On my surface, my high school looked like any other, but when you dig a little deeper, it really wasn’t. I was on the track and cross-country teas and I had meets every weekend. But instead of competing against schools in our region/district/county/etc., my meets involved travelling to other countries for the day. And instead of having state championships at the end of each season, I had European championships where I competed against other international schools in Europe. The same thing applies about the field trips I went on. I would go on weeklong field trips to other countries, often related to what we were studying. When we were studying the Renaissance we went to Italy, when studying the World Wars we went to Normandy. It was definitely a different experience than what I would have gotten if my family had stayed in Canada.

And as you might have guessed, going to an international school meant going to school with people from all over the world. Sure there was an large American population at my school, but there were people from all over Europe and many from Asia thrown in for good measure. Just within my main group of friends, there were people of 13 different nationalities and those people are now spread out all over the world. Literally. Luckily my best friend ended up going to school about 5 hours away from me, but for the most part people are now all over the world. Most of them I haven’t seen since we graduated six years ago. Not because I haven’t wanted to see them, but because it’s just not feasible because of geography. 

Whenever I read books, and this is especially true of contemporary, I see these events the characters go to, or the relationships that some of the characters have and they’re often things I’ve never experienced. I thought about that when I read Emery Lord’s The Start of Me and You. The relationship that Paige has with her three best friends is something I’ve never had. Of course I have friends. And being in my twenties, some of those friends are ones I’ve had for a long time now. But I can’t say that I have the kind of friendship with my friends that Paige has with her’s. That feeling of knowing everything about your friends because you’ve lived through it with them, of having someone who knows exactly what you’re talking about because they were right there with you for it. I have some of that, but never to the extent that I often see in books.

And then there are the books about sports. I’m drawn to those to begin with because I consider myself to be a pretty athletic person and I was involved with sports in school, but there’s more to it than that. It’s always interesting for me to see how into sports and school spirit students and their community can get. My school had a football team. And they had games that people went to. But to be completely honest, the bleachers were often pretty sparse and for most of my time in middle and high school, our football team wasn’t exactly the greatest. So seeing a whole town go all out for a football game the way you see in Catching Jordan or for a baseball game like in Play On is completely foreign. My school’s understanding of Homecoming was that all the sports team had home games that weekend. There was no dance involved, no huge football game (just a regular one that drew a slightly bigger crowd). For the most part, it was just a weekend like any other. 

So what’s the real point of this post, you might be wondering. My experience doesn’t even come close to what I read in most YA books, which is why I can find them so interesting. And my background probably affects my reviews of those books. I can relate to some aspects, but for the most part what I read is so completely different from what I experienced. There aren’t really any books out there that reflect my experience. Or at least I haven’t found them. Anna and the French Kiss and Isla and the Happily Ever After sort of come close, but my school wasn’t a boarding school and it wasn’t open to people of just one nationality. So even then, it’s still not really the same. To my knowledge, there aren’t really any YA books that accurately represent going to high school overseas the way I did. If you know of any, please let me know because I would love to read them!

Hopefully this post wasn’t too long and rambly, and hopefully you learned a little more about me! I am curious though, have you been able to find books that are pretty representative of your own high school experience?

On the Topic Of...Cheating in Books

It’s been a while since I’ve written a discussion post, but there’s been something that’s been on my mind recently. I’ve noticed that there are certain topics in books that get people to automatically write off a book, even if it was a book they had initially been very excited about. Now, I’m not here to say that anyone’s opinion isn’t right or not valid. That’s the last thing I want to do. But sometimes it just seems like there are some things that happen in books that get people in an uproar, while there are others that, in my opinion, are much worse that get justified or explained away as if it were nothing. And I’m just trying to understand it all.

So what I really want to talk about is cheating. Before I say anything else, let me just say this: I DO NOT condone cheating. It’s not something I’ve ever had a direct experience with and it’s something I hope I never have to experience. But finding out that one character in a book cheats on their significant other is not going to make or break the story for me. If anything, it almost makes me more curious about the story. Because in my experience, and with all the books I’ve read that involve cheating, there’s always something more going on than just straight up cheating.

That’s not to say that I’m trying to excuse or justify the cheating happening, but at the same time, based on the context or the other things happening in a character’s life, I can see why the cheating happened. And more often than not, at least with the books I’ve read that deal with this subject matter, the character who does the cheating typically tends to regret it and struggle with it. The most recent book I read that involved cheating saw the character struggling with it throughout the whole book, almost hating herself for what she did. In another book I’ve read, it turned out that one character had just been led to believe the other one had cheated and no cheating had actually happened. In another case, the two characters were doing everything in their power to fight their attraction for each other, out of respect for the person one of them was with. But just because the word “cheating” was mentioned, some people were all “Nope, not reading this. Cheating is absolutely unacceptable.”

And that’s fine. People are entitled to their opinions on any number of topics, cheating included. So if they don’t want to read a book because cheating is part of the storyline, that is their right and I am not going to force them to read something they don’t want to read. But there’s a flip-side to this. And that’s that there are other questionable behaviours that get taken in stride, even legitimated. As one of my friends put it “Smack your love interest around and you’re damaged and need saving. Cheat and you are the devil.” Why is it that someone who cheats gets metaphorically crucified, but someone who beats people up gets by with people saying “Oh, he’s had a rough life, it’s not his fault”? That’s the part that bugs me. That a character can be abusive, physically or mentally, but because of reason X, Y, or Z that behaviour gets excused and the person is seen as damaged and that makes them all the more attractive. But the second even someone THINKS, we’re not even talking about acting here, about doing something with someone who isn’t their significant other, it’s like they’ve committed the worse crime there is. 

And that brings me to the point I’m trying to make. If you try hard enough, you can justify or legitimate any behaviour. Believe me, I’ve seen it done in some fandoms and the things that get excused or justified or legitimated scare me sometimes (but that’s a story for another day). But why is it that some behaviours that are, in my opinion, horrible get a free pass while others get a snap judgement, most often one that’s negative? I know there’s no clear-cut answer to this question. Whether it’s with the TV shows and movies we watch or the books we read, everyone brings their own baggage and background to the table and that’s going to affect how they judge something. 

So maybe this is my question: Why are some behaviours more excusable or justifiable than others? And why are we so quick to judge some arguably morally questionable behaviour while we work tirelessly to legitimize other equally morally questionable behaviour?

On the Topic Of...Slumps

If you've stuck around this summer (thank you, by the way!) you'll probably have noticed that things slowed down. Like REALLY slowed down. To the point where between June and the end of August, barely any posts when up here. So you're probably guessing what I'm getting at. Slumps: blogging slumps and reading slumps. ANd this post is going to serve two purposes: to explain where I disappeared to, and to talk about those unfortunate moments where, as bloggers and readers, we appear to lose all motivation.

So, you might be asking yourself, what did happen to me over the summer that resulted in me practically disappearing from the blogging world. Well here it goes. I graduated from university in the spring and then headed off to New York for BEA. And it was awesome. I came home really excited about all the books I brought home with me, I had all these ideas for what I would do on the blog. But then like got in the way. My family was visiting, I was working full time at a new job and the next thing I knew, blogging sort of fell by the wayside. It's not that I didn't want to blog, but my job involves me spending a good chunk of my time on social and writing blog posts. So when I got home at the end of the day, I was more interested in Netflix than I was in doing more of the same.

Eventually, I pulled myself out of it and got excited about writing reviews again. It helped that despite not blogging, I was still getting a lot of reading done. So now I'm left with a whole back log of reviews to write, but I'm actually looking forward to writing them.

So what did I do to get myself out of this slump? There isn't really one clear answer to that question. But the general idea is this: I didn't force it. Sure there were times when I felt really guilty when typing "Netflix" in the address bar of my browser instead of "Blogger," but I just wasn't in the mood to blog. What kept me going was reading. Eventually I read a book that made me want to share my thoughts with the world. And so I knew that I was back and ready to blog.

So here are the tips I can offer up to you if you ever find yourself in a slump. First and foremost, don't force it. The guilt that can come from that will probably suck, but in the long run, it's for the best. But also follow your mood. If you don't feel like writing a review, then don't. Same goes for what you choose to read. If you're in the mood for contemporary, read a contemporary. If you're in the mood for a dystopian, then read a dystopian story. You'll probably find yourself enjoying the story more if you're actually in the mood for it. That doesn't mean you should ignore any commitments you've made, but whenever you can, go with your mood. If you're like me, that may eventually bring you out of your slump and make you want to start sharing your thoughts again. And if that doesn't work, change of some sort can also help. Maybe it's time to get that new blog design you've been thinking about. Or that new feature you wanted to start. Something.

So that's what I've got to offer. It's not much, but it's something. What I've talked about in this post is what has usually gotten me out of a slump, but I'm always open to suggestions. What do you do when you're in a reading or blogging slump? Let me know in the comments!

On the Topic Of...New Adult

I know by this point everyone has shared their opinions on New Adult, but I've wanted to throw my two cents in for a while. Because as a 22-year-old recent university graduate YA lover, there's a lot I could say on the subject of NA. So here goes nothing.

Right now, New Adult is the new and hot thing and because of the "newness" factor, people are having difficulty defining exactly what it is, or what even qualifies at New Adult. From what I've understood, NA stories are typically ones where the characters are out of high school and are now in college, therefore older than YA but not quite old enough to be "full-blown" adults (for lack of a better word). And inevitably there always seems to be more mature romance involved--sometime to the point where it feels like the book is more about the sexual content than the actual plot.

But what appeals to me when it comes to New Adult isn't the more mature content, but rather the fact that the characters are older. I love YA and some of the characters that come from YA, but as a 22-year-old, I can sometimes find it a little difficult to relate to those YA characters. But with NA, the characters are much closer to not just my age (not that I'm THAT much older than YA), but also to where I am in my life. I find myself relating to those NA characters in ways that I haven't been able to relate to YA characters in a while. And for that alone, I'll take all the NA books I can. 

But as much as I appreciate how much I am able to relate to some of the characters in those NA books, sometimes I get a little frustrated with them. I mentioned already that one of the recurring themes with a lot of NA books is the more mature and increased sexual content. While there is a time and a place for that sexual content, there are some NA books that take it a little far, making it so the story is more about the sex than the actual story. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that sexual content as much as the next person, but is it too much that it happen in the greater context of an actual story? Just because I am complaining about this it doesn't mean that there aren't NA novels because there are and I've read them. Books like K.A. Tucker's Ten Tiny Breaths and One Tiny Lie blew me away and helped sell me on NA as a thing. The same can be said about Cora Carmack's books and I'm sure plenty of others I just haven't had time to read yet.

So my final say on New Adult: I can definitely get behind it, especially if it means more books like the ones I mentioned in this post. Im all for stories that are a little more mature, with characters I can really relate to.

What are your thoughts on the whole New Adult phenomenon? If you've read a lot of NA are there any you would recommend above others? Let me know in the comments! 

On the Topic Of...Finding a Balance

For many of us book bloggers, blogging isn't our main occupation, it's a hobby. A hobby that takes up a lot of our time, but a hobby all the same. For my part, I'm finishing up my last year of my undergraduate degree, I work two jobs and I read and review books. So if you want my opinion, it's all one big balancing act.

The whole time I've been blogging, I've been a university student. When I first started my blog, it was summer, I didn't have a job and was reading. Blogging just became a way to pass time, give me something to do with my days other than just lying around reading. Since I had nothing else on my plate at the time, I didn't realize just how much of my time blogging would be taking up once I started school again. That first year things weren't so bad since all I really did was go to school, read and blog. But then the second year, I started working while going to school. And now in this third year of blogging, I've been going to school and working two jobs. And as much as I love all those things, at times it's been hard to balance it all.

There are times when all I want to do is read and blog when really I should be focusing on my school work. At other times, once I've gotten through all my school work I want nothing more than to just sit on my couch and do nothing, but I hear my blog calling out to me because it's been neglected. I'm not going to lie, there are times when I just had to neglect my blog because I couldn't even think about forcing my brain to do more work. But through it all, I've somehow found a way to keep up with school, work and my blog. the key thing is to sort of find a balance between all the different things going on in my life. 

But through it all I have found ways to keep on top of it all…or more or less on top of it all depending on how just busy I am. For me, it came down to what my priorities were. As much as I love blogging, my main priorities are school and work. And from that point on things just kind of fell into place. Blogging is something I'll do when I have time and I learned to stop worrying whenever I went a few days without posting any new content. As for reading, there's no better time than before bed to read a few chapters to wind down after a long day. You just have to find a way to make it all work together. And as soon as something feels forced, that's when you have to take a step back and re-evaluate. That's what I did. And now I've been blogging for almost 3 years.

So what are some of the ways you've found that work to balance blogging and all your other commitments? I know what works for me, but I'd love to hear some suggestions!